Sheela-na-Gig aka Jeanne Rathbone

LET US RECLAIM EASTER from the snuff re-enactment of death by crucifixion of the hairy, hippy Jesus.

Reclaim the night. I did that in the eighties. I attempted to set up the Reclaim the Cunt Society in the 90s with the help of Sheela-na-Gig. Now it is the turn of Easter, especially after a cold winter and a slow burgeoning Spring. We really need a cheery, coming of Spring holiday.

The usual twitterers about the first cuckoo/daffodils and shorts wearers have been quiet. Easter is early this year so here is gripe number one. Why the heck do we still have to tolerate this religious imposition of setting the Easter holiday which is to fall on the first Sunday, after the full moon after the 21st of March? It is done in the name of Jesus Christ. This brings me to my second complaint. Why, in the name of goodness, have we let that usurper insinuate himself unto this venerable celebration of Spring and rebirth.easter bunnies bunny and chickeaster decorated












Eater Sunday is the day when the  mates of the Christians’ main man claimed that he rose from the dead. You have to wonder what substances they took back then to give them the hallucinations of a dead man walking. Good Friday is their big day to celebrate the killing of their chap. That bloodthirsty lot seem to love to wallow in a sacrifice. Good Fridays in Ireland were grim.

last supperlast supper cartoonc






It is fundamental to this religious cult that their Mr Christ should be killed and rise from the dead after three days and hang about with his mates for another few weeks before he floated up to the skies to be with his Daddy who had a seat on his cloud for him on his right hand side, except  that he doesn’t have hands because he isn’t a person.  If he didn’t die there would be no Christian cult. The bugger had to die. They had to have their sacrifice. Of course, he did whine to his Daddy ‘Why have you forsaken me’. Why do they make such a big deal of commemorating it?  No other religion has such a gruesome core to it. Your Christians should be all embarrassed about it.

Up, up and away

Up, up and away

jesus tomb

Wierd spooks Easter parading

Wierd spooks Easter parading

If only the bugger didn’t die. We would have been spared much trouble, bigotry, superstition, infantilisation, ignorance, suppression of people, subjugation of women, paedophile priests etc. We have so much to blame that Jesus for because he let himself die by claiming he was the son of God. If only he had obeyed his mother who told him to stop being an obstreperous, stubborn boy. He was naughty as a boy and a rude son to his mother at that wedding in Cana. So much trouble in the world is down to him. Yet all the nuns love him to bits and claim they are married to him. They are trying to make out he is a raging polygamist whereas we all know he was gay. He was the ‘fruit’ of Mary’s womb, had supper parties for his male friends, obviously liked weddings, was a celebrity chef doing a barbeque for 5000 people, a hard porn pin-up and he had his very own fag hag Mary Mag. gruesome cruci


So we have all the fuss about the death of a hairy, sandal wearing wimp  2000 years ago. What a palaver. The rest of us don’t want to know about it. The very idea of human sacrifice belongs to primitive times. Don’t you get sick of seeing the man in a nappy hanging about on his cross arms outstretched when you go to many art galleries. It is so tedious and such a shame that so many of the old masters had to depict this grim image for their patrons. What a waste of great talent.

We have to go back a few years for the beginning of this sorry story. About 2000 years ago the people were very gullible and believed all sorts of nonsense. Back then men were in charge of the world and they invented Gods who lived in the clouds and claimed that the Gods were really in charge of things and that now and then they needed sacrifices – people to be killed to feed these Gods. Then some religionists decided that it was much better to have only one superduperman GOD. They projected all their fantasies onto this almighty GOD and it was their way of controlling the people. They convinced them that they knew how the GOD wanted them to behave and if they were naughty he would punish them. The simple, primitive folk fell for it and we shouldn’t be too hard on them because they were ignorant and knew no better.

Another gruesome enactment of crucixion

Another gruesome enactment of crucixion

But once they had started making up stuff they couldn’t stop. Next thing they said that the Godfella would send someone, his own son, down from his palace in the skies to save them from being naughty and upsetting him. The way this would save them was if he got himself  killed which he did on Good Friday. That’s how Christianity started and that is why we have two days holiday at Eastertime but it moves about. This is such an annoying and irrational hangover from primitive times. Why, do we put up with it? We should be demanding that we settle on a fixed Spring bank holiday for once and for all.


Of course, there were Spring festivities before all the Christian sadistic commemoration of his death by crucifxion. The pornographic depiction of this is quite unsavoury. They call it the Passions of Christ.  What a misnomer. Sadistic descriptions as seen in the movie by the anti-semite Mel Gibson are not passionate. There is the crown of thorns, his side pierced, vineger sponged onto it, carrying the cross that he was to hang from, the nails being hammered in to his hands and feet, etc.

nailingThere are a hundreds of depictions of it in art, carvings and there is Mel Gibson’s film of this sadism fest as well as the multitude of oratorio from the depictions of the passions by various composers to the words of the chappies Mathew, Mark, Luke and John. These were journalists who wrote their differing versions of the Jesus story. These are the same guys that we were asked to ‘bless the bed we lay on’. In the run up to Easter there will be concerts and versions of this played on Radio 3 and Classic FM. There is far too much of it.  Some of us love the music, it is the story and words that are crass.

baby jesus


At Christmastime, the sentimental enactment of the birth of Jesus occurs in schools and it is the compulsory introduction to Christianity and posited as fact to hapless children.

jesus cartoonFortunately, the gruesome crucifixion can not be imposed upon them in the same way in schools. There are sicko enactments of it in some Catholic countries with processions  of people following the Jesus carrying his cross.

The derviation of the word Easter  is disputed. It could be from Oestre, a pagan, Anglo-Saxon Goddess of the dawn- from where the sun rises hence east or from oestrus, Latin for ‘rut’, hence fertility from which oestrogen is derived. In many other languages the name is derived from pesach- Passover the Jewish festival.

eggs who dyed s

Obviously, the fertility and rebirth notions about eggs, hares and rabbits is preferable for secularists. Easter parades started in America. Battersea Park Easter Parade has a long history. Queen Victoria attended it in 1858 in her new bonnet and gown thus creating a trend for Easter bonnets. Painting eggs goes back thousands of years. Chocolate eggs and rabbits are very popular with children and adults. Apparently, 76% of people eat the ears of the rabbit first!easter hats

We should be campaigning to have the Easter holiday fixed. It creates problems for schools as it can vary up to four weeks playing havoc with term times. It can disadvantage examination pupils when it is a late Easter. It is odd that liberal democracies and capitalist countries tolerate it.

easter battersea park

Let us reclaim Easter for everyone as a proper, inclusive Spring holiday. Let us all celebrate Mother earth and the rebirth of life in this holiday. This could be a great opportunity to incorporate traditions from other festivals. There is Holi, Japanese Cherry blossom, the Spring Equinox, Purim etc. It would be good for us all to have a new Spring Festival, especially one that makes us aware of the need to keep a balance between our needs and nature. Indeed, I would claim that this is a Humanist imperative. After all, religions take away responsibility for this world as they claim there is another one coming whereas we have to take responsibility for this world as there is no supernatural being in charge playing big Daddy.

Away with Christian Easter in with Humanist, earth respecting, fixed Spring Festival.


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